My Wish to You

As I sit here listening to the soothing strains of my new Boyz2Men CD (that I got for Christmas) and let the thoughts of the past days and year come to me, I am happy. I am happy that I am here. I am happy that I have a family and friends who love me for who I am. I am happy that my dreams are alive and well and that nobody can take them away from me. I am happy that I have freedom of speech. I am free to say and do what I wish with only my conscience to guide me. I can love without fear and the only things that I fear (apart from spiders and heights) are losing those that I love. I am truly blessed.

 

Each day that I wake, I wonder what will come from the day. Some days are diamonds and some days are stone. Some days I still sink into the depths of despair and depression and want to run away and hide from the world and some days I revel in my life and the love of my family. Right now, I am in a good place. I am learning to relax and to let my stress wash over me. It is not always easy and sometimes I just want to scream and shout and stamp my feet like a two year old in the throes of a tantrum. However, I know that the feeling of relief would only be temporary. I am learning to breathe deeply and to count my blessings. I am learning to let myself drift along with the melodies of music. I soar with the high notes and plunge to the depths with the bass. I imagine the waves on the beach. I let them roll over me and wash away the worries of the world. I let myself find peace in the rhythm of my breathing.

 

If you have read this far, I applaud you for staying with my ramblings. And thankyou that you cared enough to read on.

So? What happened to 2008? Have we really had Christmas already? Time just goes so fast these days.

I have had a year of highs and lows and I have been tested by fire but I have remained resolute.

I have spent a wonderful year getting to know my beautiful granddaughter. She is my joy. I wear a constant smile when she is around. Her constant enthusiasm for life and all things new is a beautiful thing. She is bright and intelligent and has a very quick temper. Although at 13 months she doesn't say too much, she makes her wishes known quite easily. She has such a strong will and zest for living that leaves me breathless at times.

And if she is my Joy, then the MOTH is my Peace. He is my constant. He is my rock. I rest in him and know that I am safe and that his love is always there. He makes me smile. And he understands and cares when I need him to. My Hope is Miss Seven. She is growing so quickly and is so quick to learn. She has a thirst for knowledge and respects those who teach her (well most of the time). A straight 'A' student according to her last report card (I only hope that keeps up) and the joy of her teachers. She is my hope.

I guess I should say that all of my children are my hope. At the moment, I am waiting for my new grandchild to arrive and so jump every time the phone rings. My daughter has proved that underneath that brash and rebellious teenager that rampaged through my life in the past, there is a caring and loving mother and partner. She embodies hope for the future.

And then there is Mr 19. He recently moved out of home. I think he agrees that doing so was the best thing he has done. He is starting to mature but still has a long way to go. I am going to miss him when he goes to Melbourne in February but I know that doing this is either going to make or break him.

My children embody my hopes and dreams.

 

So to my friends who are reading this, I wish to you a 2009 that is filled with promise and love. I wish for you that any dreams you have may begin to find fruition. That the pains in your life may be made easy to bear and that through them you go stronger. And my biggest wish is that at this time next year, we are still able to wish each other all the best for the future.

Good luck to you all and Happy New Year.